why
can’t i just stay up. why can’t i be positive. Life could be so good right now. But all i’m thinking about is the future. Leaving you. You have so much going for you. Football AND music scholarship to Mizzou. You’re gonna live your dream. Sure, i’m getting the opportunity to do the same, it’s just coming a lot harder for me. I’m having to work 239058X harder. You’re so talented. You’re so special in every way. Not just to Mizzou..But to me. i try to act excited, i am completely thrilled. You have never been happier. We are going to have the most amazing summer together.. But, is that it? is that all i get. There is no possible way we’re going to be able to make it work when we’re 7 hrs away, in different states. It’s so hard right now, barely seeing you and you’re right down the road. I couldn’t imagine 7 hrs. I love you, i really do. No one really understands the bond we’ve had for so long. I’m sorry i made us keep it secret so long. I’m crazy about you, and i don’t care who knows. You know what you want in life, and i’m just kinda fishing around until i find it. I want to be so happy. i should be SOO happy. I have everything i want. You treat me like a princess, and i’m attached to you. I don’t know what i’m going to do without you. Why am i thinking about this now. I want to enjoy my time with you. But when i think about the time i’m going to spend with you, i think about how much more attached i will be. Letting go will never be easy for me. You bring out the good in me. I can’t even name all the times you’ve been there to pick me up, and put my head on straight. YOU are what i want, YOU are what i need. I am absolutely thrilled about AU. But.. things just got so much harder. i almost wish i never pursued you. I’m going to be heart broken. I’ll be crushed for months. I love you, i wish that were enough.
